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Wes
In my last post I talked about how encouragement is given better late than never. As I said, I’m not a naturally nice guy. I discussed two recent experiences in my life that helped me realize the value of giving encouragement.
I probably should have written this post first, because I have far more experiences giving pessimism and criticism than encouragement. I’m an analytical guy, and I forget to place a filter between my analytical brain and my big mouth.
I’ve strained relationships, frustrated relationships, and ended relationships all because of my careless words. You would think that I would have learned by now how useless my critical words are. They never help anybody. Nothing improves.
So be careful with what you say. Choose your words with care and wisdom. And as your grandmother said (my paraphrase), “If you can’t say something nice, keep your trap shut.”
I am not a genuinely nice guy by default. I’ve learned to fake it at times. There are some people who are nice and actually mean it. I have to consciously try to be nice, offer encouragement, and let people know I appreciate what they are doing. And to top it all off, I have to mean it.
Lately I’ve had two experiences where I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to offer encouragement and thanks to two different people. I’m not really sure why, but apparently it helped.
The first was several weeks ago. A youth pastor friend of mine mentioned on Twitter that he was preparing his sermon for that Wednesday’s service. I was intrigued by the topic, so I asked him to send me his (very detailed) notes. I’ve been around a lot of youth pastors, and to be honest, most of them aren’t strong preachers. They tend to go form style over substance.
As I read his notes, I was honestly surprised at the depth of his teaching. He’s a bright guy, passionate about truth and the Gospel, and it was clear that this passion drove him to faithfully preach Scripture to middle and high school students. That depth is a rarity among student ministries. I emailed him back and told him my thoughts on the sermon, as well as a thanks for faithfully preaching to students. Student ministry can be a tough ministry field, but it was obvious he loved his students and wanted them to love God more deeply.
His response? He thanked me for the encouragement. Apparently times have been a bit tough for him personally and ministry, and what I thought was an insignificant sentence or two turned out to be an encouragement to him. Who knew?
The second experience happened a couple days ago. An old friend from high school popped up on my Gossip Column (or News Feed, whatever you like) on Facebook. I hadn’t talked to her in a while, so I wrote on her wall to say hello.
This particular friend tried to help me in high school date another girl (twice actually; only briefly successful the second time). It hit me the other day how good of a friend she had been nearly 7 years ago. We were never very close, but I realized I never told her how much I appreciated what she did to try and help me be unsingle (though she failed, but at least she tried).
So I wrote a Facebook message just saying thanks for being a good friend 7 years ago, a better friend than I realized then. She wrote back saying that even though it was years ago, she was extremely grateful for my seemingly insignificant words. Who knew?
Why do I share these? To toot my own horn? Not hardly. I wish I could say these two experiences were more common, that I made a frequent habit of encouraging others. Unfortunately that isn’t the case.
I have been convicted and challenged by my recent experiences. The biggest thing I learned? I never knew my seemingly insignificant words could be such an encouragement. I was completely clueless about my friends’ situations. I just did it to try and encourage them and get out of my comfort zone.
So here’s a challenge:go out of your way to give a few words of encouragement to someone. Do it via email, text, Facebook, Twitter, whatever. Just do it. You-yes YOU-could be a huge encouragement to someone.
Who knew?
I like sports. While I don’t fall into the category of “athletic”, I do enjoy watching ball games and attempting to play a sport or two on occasion. I’m a fan of a few teams, but I would have to say my favorite team in the Atlanta Braves.
Growing up in Alabama, I didn’t have any pro teams of any sport to cheer for in my own state. My parents grew up in Georgia, so we were default Braves fans. The Braves were still on TBS for nearly every game in those days, so we were always able to catch a game.
This past Saturday I was driving up to Atlanta to meet with a few friends. As I got closer to Atlanta I found a radio station playing the Braves game. The game hadn’t started yet, but the retirement ceremony for Bobby Cox was under way.
Bobby Cox is the 4th winningest manager in MLB history. He led the Braves to 14 straight division titles, which is an unprecedented feat in any sport. Players such as John Smoltz, Greg Maddox, Chipper Jones, and (my sister’s favorite) Javier Lopez have come under his leadership.
For Braves fans, I think there is one record that they appreciate more than the number of wins or division titles. Bobby Cox holds the record for the most ejections of any manager, which is currently at 158. Why so many ejections? He isn’t a mean manager like some, he doesn’t get in fights with his players like some, and he doesn’t cuss at the media like some. Why get ejected so often? Simple
He got ejected because of the fierce loyalty to his players.
Cox didn’t come waddling out of the dugout for fun because he felt like watching the game in the locker room. He almost always got ejected to prevent his players from getting ejected. He knew that he couldn’t throw strikeouts and hit home runs, but they could. If anyone was going to get ejected, he wanted it to be him. He was willing to take the fall so that his players and the team could have the opportunity for success
How often do you defend those you lead with that kind of fierce loyalty? With every ejection Cox proved to his players that he was there to defend them no matter what. The more they saw his commitment to them, they became more committed to him. Protecting those he led was a high priority, and everyone knew it.
As we lead those around us, we should seek to defend them no matter what. Such a loyalty to those you lead shows them your willingness to work for them. This can begin to build a culture of respect and loyalty that can’t be developed through cute sayings and training sessions. Respect and loyalty lead to deep trust, which leads to a team that is unstoppable.
And let’s hope the Braves have become a team that is unstoppable, all the way to another World Series title.
Last night I watched the show “Undercover Boss” on CBS for the first time. The premise of the show is for a CEO to go undercover in their own company to do a variety of manual labor jobs. Along the way the CEO meets amazing people with incredible stories.
Steve Joyce, CEO of Choice Hotels, went undercover on last night’s episode at several different Choice Hotel properties around the country. Along the way he met 4 incredible people with 4 unique yet amazing stories.
I’ve never seen the show, but it was pretty interesting to see a CEO barely be able to clean a hotel pool. Each person he worked with had a unique story. It was inspiring to see people working so hard at everything from fixing toilets to changing sheets.
At the end of the episode, Steve met with each of the 4 people he worked with and revealed his identity. For each person, he did two things that I think will change their lives:
Gave Encouragement Each of these 4 individuals were not top level management. One was in sales, one the front desk, one in maintenance, and one in housekeeping. He made sure to accentuate the positive traits for each person, and give encouragement as the CEO of their organization. One lady said (after being given an opportunity to significantly advance in the company and receive a week vacation all expenses paid) that she just needed someone to tell her she was doing a good job. Wow.
Gave an Opportunity Each employee was working hard at their job, no matter how miniscule it may seem to the rest of us. Their passion and skill was obvious. Steve wanted to reward that passion with an opportunity to advance in the company. This small move has changed the life trajectory of entire families now.
If you haven’t noticed yet, the two things this CEO did are two things we can do on a daily basis. I wonder how many people I interact with daily who just need someone to tell them that they are doing a great job. Or how many people are capable and eager to do more if given the right opportunity.
I may not be the CEO of an international company like Steve Joyce, but I can change people’s lives in a small way, just by providing encouragement and opportunities. And you know what? So can you.
Our culture is fascinated with success. There are plenty of articles, books, and conferences geared toward showing you how to be a success. Most of these resources give complicated formulas for success.
Success is really not that hard. I’ve noticed a few things that are consistent with truly successful people:
Get a haircut. Typically successful people aren’t trying to reinvent the hair style industry. Include your own personality, but keep it neat. And don’t take hairstyle tips from Lady Gaga.
Buy a pen. And a notebook. Once you do this, start using them. I’ve noticed a lot of smart and successful people who have one place to write down everything, including thoughts, ideas, contact information, quotes, and notes.
Wear clothes that match. Like the hair thing, don’t try to reinvent the fashion industry. You can have your own flair, but again, Lady Gaga should not be your clothing inspiration. Stick with simple.
Buy things when you have the money. That means don’t buy things when Visa has the money. Our country makes a big deal about buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like. That makes as much sense as purple ketchup.
See? It’s really not that hard. It’s all about the little things.
I am a certified Apple fanboy. I currently own a MacBook Pro and an iPad. I am a former owner of an iPhone. While the iPhone is possibly the coolest phone on the market, it doesn’t do what a phone is supposed to do:make calls.
After about 16 months of dropping calls like it’s my job, I finally jumped ship. I switched over to Verizon. I started with a BlackBerry, which was ok, but returned it for a Droid Incredible. The more I work with Google stuff, the more I like it.
I’ve officially had my Droid Incredible for a week. Verizon uses the slogan “Droid Does” in their advertising campaigns. The idea is to poke holes at what the iPhone can’t do. After owning a Droid for a week, I’ve found 5 things that Droid Doesn’t.
1. Drive my car. The OS is named after the droids in Star Wars, like R2-D2. If the droid can fly a plane through the galaxies, why can’t it drive my car through Orlando?
2. Feed my dog. This missing feature only slightly bothers me, mainly because I don’t own a dog. If I did own a dog, however, this would be a failure of epic proportions.
3. Do my work. It has great calendar sync, and many task managers available in the Android Market. The issue is that the phone doesn’t actually do my work for me. This is a problem.
4. Get me a date. It can tell me when I have a date, but it doesn’t actually get the date for me. Lame.
5. Lower my taxes. The government isn’t doing it, so I had hoped that this “magical” phone would. Oh well.
Other than these 5 significant oversights, I think the Droid is a great phone. What is it’s best feature?
It’s not on AT&T.
I’ve been a fan of Earth, Wind and Fire for several years. I played in an instrumental group in college that played a medley of Earth, Wind and Fire songs. I have a few of their albums (digitally, not actual albums).
Saturday night I got the chance to see them in concert at Universal Studios Orlando. I’ve been wanting to see them for some time, but never had the chance to before then. They were incredible. For more than 90 minutes the 12 men on stage played every major song in their repertoire.
Three of the men in the group are original members. Next year they will have been doing EWF for 40 years. That kind of longevity is quite rare. While enjoying the music, I observed a few things that translate to all areas of life.
They kept it interesting The singers would play percussion. The horn players played tambourines at times. Ten of the twelve would dance together. There was such variety that it kept everyone interested. Often times we do the same thing the same way expecting different results. To achieve different-and hopefully-better results, we have to work hard to be constantly changing, improving, learning and growing. We should never become stagnant. We should always be fun
They had fun I think the bass player didn’t stop smiling for the entire duration of the show. They were all dancing, interacting with each other, jumping around, you name it. From the crowd you could see that they liked what they were doing. As I said earlier, three of the guys in the band have been in it from the beginning. You don’t stay around that long if you don’t like what you are doing. Too many people forget to have fun in their work. Too many people think fun is counterproductive. In fact, if you aren’t having fun in your work, then you probably aren’t doing as much as you could be.
They engaged the crowd They were constantly having people clap, jump, since, dance, shout, whatever. They reached out to different areas of the crowd, working to include everyone. They understood that it was not a concert; it was an experience. If we want to make a lasting difference in what we do (family, church, and work), then we need to work to engage people. We need to do all that we can to create lasting experiences with the people we encounter. People retain experiences better than pure observations.
They were good All twelve men on stage were incredible musicians. Nine of them had vocal solos at some point. All of the instruments were featured individually. It was clear that they practiced hard both individually and collectively. We often undervalue the importance of how private preparation can influence collective success. Personal development will contribute to collective success. If everyone is practicing and preparing independently, then collectively they can be unstoppable. But only if they are willing to contribute to the overall good.
If EWF is playing near you, go see them. You won’t regret it. And odds are you won’t forget it.
Delivering Happiness (affiliate link) is the first book by Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh. It follows the story of this young entrepreneur from his first start-up business in elementary school all the way to taking Zappos.com to a multi-billion dollar company.
The book is an autobiography of Tony’s life in business. I was fascinated to read of someone who has such a strong drive to start businesses and strive to grow them as big as possible. Along the way he had some failed attempts, but he also had some major successes.
His first big success post-college was a startup called LinkExchange. He and a college friend started the company, and within a few years they sold it to Microsoft for more than $300 million. It’s like living a dream, being in your mid-20′s and having hundreds of millions of dollars to your name.
Tony used the money to start a venture capital firm, which led him to invest in a plan to sell shoes online. Eventually he joined the team as CEO, and led the company from a small, struggling startup to the leader in online shoe sales.
Zappos has redefined the term “customer service.” They go far above and beyond the normal expectations, whether it’s a free upgrade to overnight shipping or the 365 day return policy. I think their biggest contribution to customer service is how they act when they are the customers.
Every organization wants to make a good impression on its customers, but few want to make a good impression as a customer. Zappos seeks to serve its vendors. Most businesses turn mean and sometimes rude when dealing with other vendors. Too often they fail to represent their own customer services values when they are a customer.
It all goes back to humility, which requires work. Humility requires that we put our own interests aside and serve those around us. The funny thing is that the more we do this, the more our own needs get met. When we all seek to serve each other, we all win.
That’s why Zappos wins.
Every guy has one. Whether it’s leather, nylon, or Spiderman, every man has a wallet. I’ve tried several different wallets already, and I’ve finally found one that works for me.
I moved away from a back pocket wallet a year or 2 ago. There are numerous reports stating that thick wallets can cause back problems. Some guys have a wallet so thick that it looks like they are a book in there. I have no idea why you need that much in your wallet. I’ve realized that the bigger the container I have, the more stuff I carry.
This is the Small Wallet by Saddleback Leather in Dark Tobacco Brown (the actual color is darker than it appears on the website). Before purchasing this one, I owned a Swallet. That was one of the cooler ones I’ve owned. When I initially called the home office to order one, Rick sold me 5 for less than $25 total. I gave away a couple and kept 2.
It was a cool wallet, but I found myself having to double fold cash to keep it under the band. Not a huge deal, but it made it much thicker than I liked. I’ve been a fan of Saddleback Leather for a while, and this seemed like an inexpensive way to join the club.
I like it so far. I’ve realized that I don’t need to carry that much, so it works well for me.
